Saturday, August 1, 2009

Finding Peace

The first four days were the hardest. I could not stop crying and second guessing myself.
By the fifth day I was pretty numb.
On the sixth day we decided to go to Cape May, New Jersey for the day.
A bit of a long drive just for one day, but a place that holds many happy memories for myself, my husband and my children.

Before my father became sick and passed away, it was a place the whole family enjoyed vacationing together, but now it had been ten years since we last were there.

Time to go back, and soak in its calm, healing magic.

Walking along a beach, bucket in hand and searching for treasures is one of my soul's greatest pleasures.
(I actually have reoccurring "nightmares" where I am at the shore only to realize that it is my last day and time to leave, but for what ever reason I forgot to walk on the beach and do my gleaning. I race in a frenzy to the ocean and sand, frantically trying to seek that peace in my few remaining moments.)

Sea shells are few on the beaches of Cape May, but lovely small stones are plentiful.

The prize stones are the "Cape May Diamonds". Clear, smooth pieces of quartz.

After the beach, a stroll through the streets of Cape May equally delights the senses.

The streets are lined with beautifully painted Victorian houses...

And gorgeous courtyard gardens...


Many heartfelt thanks. Your kind comments, loving emails, and thoughtful gifts lifted my spirit when it was at one of its lowest. The goodness and generosity of people is so incredible... if only the news was filled with the truth of peoples loving actions.

I miss Mo so much. I talk to her everyday. I picture her happy and healthy. I stroke her photograph.
She taught me more lessons in living this past year then I have learned in all of my previous.
She was a gift. Thank you for letting me share her with you.


nicolette said...

Dear Victoria, I loved reading this post. You’re such a gifted, kind and caring person. The way you describe your search to find peace is beautiful. You’ve definitely a talent for writing. The pictures are wonderful. I’ve never seen those quartz stones before. I think I would fell in love with Cape May.

Thanks for sharing your feelings and most of all thanks for sharing your life with Mo. She will be incredibly missed but she will always be with you and never be forgotten.

Hugs, Nicolette

connie said...

I am glad you have been able to move forward a bit. It is amazing what being at the beach can do for one's piece of mind. Here on the west coast we do not have such beautiful pieces of quartz. Ours is white and do not look so lovely. I hope you continue to move forward. I am sure you will always miss Mo. Those furry friends are absolutely the best. Mo will be with you always.

Take Care, we have missed your wonderful thoughts and creations here in blog land.

GloJoeSews said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing how it is to begin to heal. It's never easy but it's the process that matters. Your Mo was lovely and is romping among those beautiful clouds you've captured. Bless you.

RosaMarĂ­a said...

beautiful post. Thanks for sharing this special moments in your life. Hope you'll better every day. A big hugh for your.

Two Dogs and a Quilt said...

Glad to hear you had a day of healing at the beach. When I went through losing my dog/companion, creating was the best therapy for keeping my mind and body busy. Before long, the good memories of her outweighed the pain. Best wishes for many more healing days.

Jennifer said...


do you mind if i re-post your quartz stones picture on my blog? it's currently inspiring me!

Carol E. said...

My heart is aching for you. Glad you could go to your special place, and thanks for sharing all the GORGEOUS photos. I bought that Quilts Baby book, and it arrived today!!! It's a fabulous book!

Gunnels blog said...

Thanks for sharing this beautiful post! So lovely pictures ! Take care!

Stephanie said...

what a beautiful place. we all need a Cape May.

Jackie said...

So glad you were able to find some peaceful time in Cape May, a very wonderful place. Hold those memories of Mo forever, they will become comforting.

Allie said...

I think I'm in love with Cape May, because of your post. When I need to heal, I head to the beach also.

Thank you for such a beautiful post. I hope your heartache eases soon.

Blue is Bleu said...

It's nice to know there's somewhere you can go to find some peace in this difficult time.

Fer said...

There's certainly nothing like the sea to help heal the soul, I'm glad it helped fulfil your need.

Cape May is a stunning place, and those 'diamonds' are amazing.

Amy C said...

I think you are an amazing and wonderful person, I am so so glad I know your blog!
Cape May looks so beautiful and the quartz - WOW.
I have dreams like that about my favorite stationery stores!

sea-blue-sky & abstracts said...

It's a while since I visited your blog and I'm so sad to read about Mo - she was such a lovely dog. I can say that, not just because of what you have written but because her good nature shines out from the photographs posted here. x

picciolo said...

Cape May looks lovely, a perfect place to go to help you feel a tiny bit better

karen said...

It's so good to see you back Victoria, slowly healing.
This place looks so amazing, those houses!!!! and those beautiful quartz stones. x

icandy... said...

Thanks so much for popping by!! Those painted ladies...look just YUMMY!!! Wait, can a home be yummy??!! :)

Happy Sunday to you!
Christina :)

Hey Harriet said...

Oh what a charming place Cape May looks! I wish I could visit such a place, as we have nothing quite like that anywhere over here. Those Cape May Diamonds are spectacular! I'm wondering if you're allowed to remove them from the beach? It would be difficult to not take a few home. I'm so glad you took a trip to such a special location and that it helped with the grieving process a little bit. Thank you so much for sharing Mo with us all. The memory of your sweet brave girl will always be a part of us also Vic. xo

Lesley said...

Dear Victoria,
I haven't commented before, though I've been reading your blog for a while and sending you and your darling Mo all my very best positive thoughts and wishes.
I'm so sorry Mo has gone, but you did the right thing and were there to say goodbye. She knew how much you loved her!
Lots of love from over here in Perth, Western Australia.

Michelle | Cicada Studio said...

Dear friend, I am glad you found a place that brings you joy and calm- the perfect anecdote. Your tender memories will live on, and through that spirit, so will Mo.

Be well, Victoria- let the healing begin.


Sally Annie Magundy said...

We also found solace in the seaside after experiencing the same loss of our beloved furry boy. Yesterday was two years and the tears flowed, the tide rising and washing over us again.

Thinking of you and sending hugs.

jacquie said...

so glad you have a place like this in your life. continued good wishes and healing thoughts!

Janis said...

A beautiful post. I think of you often. xoxo

Colleen MacDonald said...

I am so proud of you for taking good care of your heart. Your pictures of the beach were very calming and soothing for me, too; those quartz pebbles are amazing. Sending you lots of love.

bascom hogue said...
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Victoria Bennett Beyer said...

I am glad you found a theraputic place to help ease your pain. It does look like a good place for the soul.

I don't know if I told you this, but when my sweet Maggie passed away suddenly two years ago, I was distraught. The first days are the worst, as you said, and best forgotten. But two or three days later I woke up from the most vivid dream, in which I was laying in my bed just as I was, but with all my past doggies, Miss Maggie included, laying all around the foot of my bed. They came over to me so I could pet them, and then they all scampered off to brilliant green fields to play. Maybe it was my subconsious trying to make me feel better, but I dont' think so. Where ever Mo is, I think she is happy and healthy and waiting patiently for you.