Breath Deeply

Dear Mo was a true-blue, super-duper trooper today at the vets. She surprised everyone, by being so good, and so still through all of her testing, that there was no need to give her any anesthesia, and we were able to come and get her earlier then they had expected. I am very proud of her, as I know that she was very afraid, (resulting in a few accidents, but that is to be expected.)

Unfortunately the x-ray showed a large mass, and the vet is 85% sure it is cancer. He also concurred with my own research saying that would give us only another 3 to 6 months with our sweet baby girl. Suffice to say that I have cried a lot of tears today.

To be 100% sure of it being cancer, we would have to take her to a specialist for more tests and procedures, but everyone, including Mo's doctor, felt that it was best to just let this take it's own course of action, making each day the best it can be for her, as nothing can really be done for this type of cancer, and her quality of life would suffer if put through extra testing, and treatment. The last thing that I want is for Molasses to suffer.

Interestingly Mo has been the picture of health the last few days, and all of her symptoms have gone away... I like to think it is from all the well wishes, prayers and good energy that everyone has been sending. Thank you and keep it coming, as the vet said that if we can keep her going past the 6 month mark, then there is a good chance that she was actually in that other 15%, and the mass isn't cancer. He said that he didn't want to give me false hope, but I will take any and all hope that I can get.

In the midst of my tears and sadness, I have been filled with tremendous gratitude for all of the days that I have been so blessed to spend with Molasses BooDill, and I will be profoundly grateful for each more day I get to spend with her. I assure you, I have never taken her for granted, and often marvel at how such one little being can bring such enormous joy to all who meet her.

I also assure you that she will be getting lots of extra belly rubs and snuggle time, and almost anything else her little heart desires. Please continue to keep her in your thoughts from time to time, and hopefully she will defy the odds.

Thank you to each and everyone of you who took the time to comment or to email. Your kindness is deeply appreciated, and will not be forgotten.

Molasses BooDill

I am a bit distracted. Actually, I am very distracted and overcome with worry, and am hoping that the act of writing will be somehow therapeutic.

About 6 weeks ago I took my dog Mo, (Molasses BooDill) to the vets because icky looking mucus was coming out of one nostril, as if she had a bad cold. A sinus infection was suspected, (although the vet did warn me that very rarely this symptom could mean a sinus tumor, a very serious condition, but in which case we would see blood.)


She was treated with antibiotics and in a couple of days was fine. What a relief. Then last week, the greenish mucus came back, along with some occasional breathing attacks that looked like asthma, and a sudden onslaught of snoring while she slept. Off we went to the vets, where we talked some more about the possibility of cancer, but based on how she looked, (over all very good) and that there was no blood, we all agreed that it was probably allergies, or an infection again.


At first the mucus cleared up, and the snoring seems too have as well, but now the mucus is back, this time thiner, clearer, but tinged with blood. I have set up an appointment for Mo to go in on Monday for an x-ray to see what we can see, and I have also requested a probe and a swab to look for signs of anything stuck up there or signs of a fungal infection. (The later two test requests are from information which I gathered while researching her symptoms on the web... however sinus cancer does seem to be the main thing coming up on my searches.)


I am sick with worry, and also feel horrible that I have to leave her at the vets for a whole day, which I know shouldn't seem like a big deal in and of itself, but Molasses is very attached to me and gets depressed even at home with the other family members if I am not there as well. She has been know to get physically sick, (from both ends) when stressed, (such as being left at the vet's and separated from me) even for very short periods of time. She is a sweet and sensitive dog, and I do not want to cause her any undo anxiety. Luckily I have a friend who works at the vets, and has promised to keep her with her in her office for the waiting and recuperation time.

The really horrible thing about sinus tumors in dogs, is that even with aggressive treatment, which is very stressful for the dog, the long range outcome is generally only between a year and a year and a half. Without treatment the outcome is generally only 3 to 6 months. I know I am getting ahead of myself, but this is how I deal with things. I need to get a grip on my plan of action.

I want Mo to live as long as possible, and I want to be able to say that I did everything possible... but that's really all about me, my ego, my wants and needs. When I look at Mo, when I think about her personality, how anxious and upset she gets in certain situations, how depressed she gets when separated from me... I can not bring myself to think about putting her through all of the stressful tests and procedures that she would have to go through so that I can keep her a bit longer by my side.


My duty is to her. To insure her the best sense of love and protection and comfort as possible. When thinking of this I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just want to do right by her. I want to protect her quality of life, and her overall sense of well being. Please keep her in your prayers. She truly is a special soul.

Hope Prevails!

I am shedding tears of joy, gratitude and relief!
A new day of hope, peace and equality has come.
May we now go forward and begin to heal this country.
May God bless and protect Barack Obama,
this world, and all people everywhere.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Yippee!!!!

VOTE!!!

Standing at the Crossroads, The Photography of Marion Post Wolcott

Photograph of a crossroads store, bar, "juke joint," and gas station located in the cotton plantation area of Melrose, Louisiana.

Taken in 1940 by Marion Post Wolcott


Marion Post Wolcott was a FSA documentary photographer who used her vision and photographic skills to showcase and educate the American public on the plight of those most affected by the Great Depression.






Marion bravely traveled alone through New England, Kentucky, North Carolina, Florida, Louisiana, and Mississippi


in order to show the vast differences between social and economic classes of the haves...











and the have-nots...








She turned her lens towards all that she encountered and exposed the reality of America.












And through her artist and humanitarian commitment, she made a difference by helping to document over a three and a half year period the benefits of federal subsidies, helping to gain support for FDR's New Deal policies and projects, ushering in the promise of hope, a helping hand up and the opportunity for a better way of life.







Marion Post Wolcott


was a true American hero.



I know that we are all weary from the this long political road we have all been traveling lately. But now we are at those proverbial crossroads, and each of us must make a decision as to which way we will go. One way promises hope, and the other way promises to save us from all that we should fear. I choose to chance it and take the path that points towards hope. I do this because I will always choose hope over fear. Because faith is stronger then fear. Because fear is used to control people, whereas hope is used to inspire people. Which way will you go? Each of us must decide which path we choose, and whichever one you decided to take, I wish you well.

"We need to teach the next generation of children
from Day One that they are responsible for their
lives. Mankind's greatest gift, also its greatest
curse, is that we have free choice. We can make
our choices built from love or from fear."

- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross