Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm Falling Apart at the Seams



Yes, just like this local old barn, I feel like I am falling apart at the seams, and this is why...

My plan was, that by this point in February, after weeks of diligent and dutiful stitching, I would have loads of wonderful new work to share, (now, listen closely and you just may hear God laughing).

Things started off well enough, with a few small pieces that I liked, (and gave a little peek of in my last post). After those, I made several more pieces, but they just didn't have anything going for them. Then my machine went on the fritz, but I forged on, using the back-up machine I have for my daughter. (A great little machine, but it still feels like driving a foreign car... everything feels backwards and different then what I am use to.)

Once I had my machine back and in good repair, I got sick and didn't do much more then lay on the couch and sleep for 3 days, dreaming of all the terrific quilts I would soon be making. After those 3 days, I went right back to stitching. Each piece held promise in the beginning, in the middle, and right up to the end... where suddenly each work that had held so much promise, all of a sudden looked really, really sad. They went from looking like Cinderella at the ball, to Cinderella standing one foot bare, in the pouring rain, holding a half-rotting pumpkin.

So, I changed direction... allowed new ideas to flow. Ah, now I was on the right path... that is until the work and I took some unknown wrong turn, and I found myself right back in the middle of nowhere.

And that is where I currently am... nowhere further along in my journey then I was a few weeks ago... But, as the old saying goes, if at first, (and in this case second, third, fourth, fifth, etc.) you don't succeed, try, try again. And so I will. (Wish me luck!)

34 comments:

Kit Lang said...

I've been having a simlilarly frustrating new year (for different reasons). May we each reconnect with our muse very soon and through that let our creativity and ideas flow!

Kate said...

Good luck!! You'll get there - you always do. I'm so curious to see work that you think isn't working. Some of the quilts I've finished I felt embarrassed showing on my blog, but I got such a good response that I changed my mind about the way I felt about them. Having said that, please don't feel pressured to post pics :)

Michelle Engel Bencsko said...

Oh, Honey. Wherever you are it's fine by me. Because I know, at some point, you'll just bust open and blow my mind. Enjoy the diverted path... you never know where it will lead. (Sometimes it leads you right where you started.)

Marg M said...

Good luck!

MariQuilts said...

I'm sure it will come to you. This is probably one of the reason I work on multiple projects.....one of them is bound to turn out and it does seem to get the creative juices flowing. I love your work!!

Mary Keasler said...

I feel your pain, girl. This winter has just about done us all in! Just know that WE WILL SURVIVE! In fine form, no doubt. Know also that you are always an inspiration to so many

momto2wasd said...

Thank you for sharing this! Sometimes it feels to me like everyone out there in quilting blog-land always gets it right the very first try.

Fer said...

Good luck! (and I'm sure good karma is coming your way very soon!). I really admire your tenacity and 'can do' attitude. ♥

connie said...

I cannot imagine your work being anything less that wonderful, but I do understand your feeling. I have been in a similar funk. I think you are right in just working through it. I think persistence will pay off. I will send good thoughts your direction...

Corinnea said...

Giving yourself a break would be ok. You are quite clever, please don't think you have to perform all the time. Rest, regroup and see how things go.

QuiltSwissy said...

We must be related, you and I. I had so many plans for finishing up Christmas gifts, the piece for the January show, the hand quilting on my lemon/lime quilt, and 4 or 5 other. Then I had surgery, once I felt better son in law gave me cold and pnemonia, then I just laid on the sofa and got fat!

I am working on a quilt that is really not going anywhere fast right now. Junk, it is called, and it looks like Junk!

glen: may you and I (and the others in here) have an AWESOME 2011....

Allie said...

A painful but necessary part of the journey - like Thomas Edison, now you'll know what DOESN'T work! Enjoy the process, hon!

Nifty Quilts said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with the design doldrums. I'm looking forward to spring and summer, when the ideas seem to flow.

Diane J. Evans said...

I love your attitude! This is exactly the way to look at your creative self when things aren't going so well. I've read that this kind of thing happens to truly gifted artists, such as yourself, and that you need to ride along with it, just as you're doing. If you need anyone to tell you what a gift you have, let it be me -- you have an AMAZING gift, and it will shine through all of this again.

Diane

Lorraine said...

I know that feeling .... I am sure the flow of ideas & stitchy goodness will reappear at any moment !!
xx

Sewhappy said...

Good luck but I know you will be fine. The arts always seem to have these moments you will emerge better for it....that's what I find anyhow. Keep happy.

stitchinglife2 said...

Everything will be just fine. Maybe you just need a break. Time is an irreplaceable gift and the most valuable thing there is. God isn't laughing, she's just giving you some time.

Sarah said...

Good luck! Although I am quite sure you don't need it. :-)
Your work is sublime and I can't wait to see more.

Sujata said...

Victoria,
You are at the right place. I believe that the path often finds us just when you are not trying.
Have a great peaceful weekend!

Stephanie said...

With your creative mind I know you'll get back on your creative path. Sometimes our brain needs a vacation when we least expect it. Sorry you've been sick.

Mary said...

Just remember, we are still in last longest month of the year, Janu-Feb. Don't let Resistance get the better of you. Keep moving forward even if you have no idea where you're headed!

Mary said...

Whatever will come out at the end will be beautiful, because we love what you do. And anyway, congratulations for being critical on your work. Some people are so easily happy with what they make whatever it looks like. (But don't be too hard!) Good luck!

Kathryn said...

You are not alone! I'm feeling the same thing right now. Started a new piece and it's falling flat. Opened my mind to another idea and now wondering if that was the right direction. And my sewing machine has reached it's limit too! Hang in there!

Angela said...

Read the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote you have in your blog, the answer is right there.
Those "sad" or "wrong" pieces are you, too. Have respect for them, find their meaning, embrace them.
You are in the middle of the "good luck" you ask for, you just have to realize it.
May you see the light.

lindaroo said...

Thank you so much for sharing this part of the creative process. I'm trying to get my sewing mojo back, and have been thinking maybe it was just a temporary grace, last year, to work out some kinks in my soul, and now it's over. Your post inspires me to keep at it, to expect a new opening eventually, and to grow with it. Staying positive, not pathetic!

dosfishes said...

The journey is everything. The where you are is where you are. Just hope you are on the mend so you can enjoy it more. xox Corrine

Karoda said...

It helps me to find peace, relax into those sudden dives and dips in my process in order to get out of them. Its where I remind myself to trust the process that even the (seemingly) "nowhere" spot is growth.

Jackie said...

Oh Victoria! I know just what you mean. But your standard is so high..you are a hard act to follow even if its you thats doing the following!
I'm sure all your trial and error pieces will lead you on to new things that you will be pleased with. I can't wait.

Elsa said...

oh, I know what you mean.
I made a pillow yesterday, for a Valentine gift. I was really excited about it (still am and something I'd never tried) till it started coming together and I realized that I should have used different colors, darker colors.
I've decided to take on the attitude of 'Sew and Learn'. It's my motto this year and I'm going to put the spin on everything I do (sewing or any other craft I do) as an exercise, whether I like it or not.
I don't know if this helps, but there it is.

Kim said...

I read this terrific line yesterday
"Every quilt builds on those that came before it, and with each quilt your confidence and perception will grow." from the book " Thinking outside the block: step by step to dynamic quilts" by Sandi Cummings with Karen Flamme.

So yes enjoy the journey and process and not always the outcome.

Happy sewing, I love your work and have been so inspired by you.
I hope you feel better soon.

Cheryl Arkison said...

But that's part of the journey too. All of it is. As usual, you will come out of this stronger creatively or technically.

RosaMarĂ­a said...

its like a pause, a big one or a small one...
I'm sure you'll make something stunning soon!

Victoria Bennett Beyer said...

Sometimes art doesn't come easy! But, I'm sure, you will get where you want to go.

mary.keasler@gmail.com said...

AW, mon. I can so relate. I am certain that things will fall into place for you soon. Your blog is always a spot I come to for needed inspiration. Sounds as if you still have a sense of humor about it all, so with that, will come more good things.