Friday, December 19, 2008

Keeping Vigil

My sweet Molasses took a sudden and serious turn for the worst last Wednesday night when she started hemorrhaging from her nose. I have no words to adequately express the feeling of fear and helplessness that we felt. Now it has become our new normal, as we keep a loving vigil over her. We have covered our living room with blankets and towels, and that has been where Mo and I have been camping out. She in her bed, and I most of the day and night by her side on a blow up mattress.

Molasses for the most part, has been alert and comfortable. I do my best just to keep her warm and quiet, and try to stop the bleeding each time it starts. Last night was good, and I awoke with hope that today things would start to really turn around for the better. Unfortunately after waking she experienced another pretty bad episode. Mo is relaxing peacefully as I type this, but I can clearly see the toll this is taking on her as she seems to be growing weaker. I still pray for a miracle, but know, as the vet has told me, this is most likely the beginning of the end.

Each moment over the last few days has been filled with much sadness, but also much much beauty and grace. I am profoundly thankful for getting to simply lay with her, to gaze into her big beautiful brown eyes, to tell her for the one millionth time how much I love her and to thank her from the depths of my soul for bringing me so much joy and happiness. Molasses returns my look, staring deep into my eyes. She sighs, rolls over for a belly rub and dozes a bit more.

18 comments:

High Desert Diva said...

Oh Victoria....sending hugs from me and sloppy, wet dog kisses from Trux.

Mrs.French said...

oh my dear...I was so hoping for the best. I don't have the words right now...but you do have my thoughts, and a few tears...I so wish things could have been different, cherish these last moments and know that I am thinking of you, your family and sweet mo...xo t

kelly said...

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wish you and Mo as much peace as possible during this time. Please know that I'm thinking of you both tenderly right now. xoxo

Cicada Studio said...

*big warm hugs and hugs and hugs* Peace Mo. Good little girl.

nicolette said...

You’re both so brave. Peace to the both of you and hugs, lots of hugs!!
Will be thinking of you!

Jackie said...

Our thought s are with you as you face the end with your dear friend and companion. I think we are not far behind but are having a reprieve for the moment. You can just do your best and she will know she is loved.
Hugs
x

pattihaskins said...

Hugs to you and Mo. You'll both be in my thoughts.

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Oh Victoria...you're all in my thoughts. I can not imagine the helplessness you must be experiencing. Just know that your deep love, strength and grace through this difficult time is acknowledged and admired by Mo and all of us. (hugs)

Janis said...

Oh Victoria. I am so very very sorry. I am glad that you are able to stay with her, to comfort her and bring her the little pleasures you can. God bless you both, you are in our prayers. XOXOXO

jacquie said...

this must be so hard for you, but i'm so glad you are there with her. thinking of you both.

Hey Harriet said...

I'm so sorry Victoria that Mo has taken a turn for the worse. I've been wondering how Mo was doing up until now and wishing for a miracle...hoping everything would be ok. I wish I was there to give your beautiful Mo a big belly rub! Keep enjoying those happy moments shared with your friend and I'll be thinking of you both. I'll also continue hoping for that miracle. I believe they sometimes happen. xo

bascom hogue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fog and Thistle said...

Victoria,
You and your sweet Mo are in my thoughts.
xo,
Rachel

picciolo said...

oh I am so sorry, Molasses is lucky to have an owner like you
x

Fer said...

Oh dear Molasses, I can think of hundreds of platitudes but that's all they are. So I'll send you some virtual hugs, and let you know that I'm thinking of you both.

littlebyrd said...

I am saddened to read this. I am so sorry for you and your family and Molasses. Wishing you peace and strength during this time.

Victoria Bennett Beyer said...

I pray for you and Mo.

please sir said...

So sorry to hear that...my thoughts are with you today...keep in there.